Showing posts with label Green Party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Green Party. Show all posts

They must have forgot to send me my ticket

Friday, July 13, 2012
As regular blog readers will know I am a self-proclaimed mover and shaker and all around high and mighty muckity-muck in the Green movement. So, imagine my surprise when I realized that the Green Party convention had started without sending me an invitation. WTF -- is that any way for them to treat their future Ambassador to Brazil? Bah, with an organization this slip-shod it is no wonder we never win the Presidency.

Anyway, Dr. Jill Stein won the nomination over Rosanne Barr. Naturally, that posed the problem of finding a running mate for Dr. Jill who wouldn't over-shadow the top of the ticket. After a long search for such a non-entity, Dr. Jill settled on Cheri Honkala. This is from Cheri's biographical info:
Compelled by her own experience as a homeless, single mom, Honkala has spent nearly three decades working directly alongside the poor to build the movement to end poverty, and has organized tens of thousands of people to take action via marches, demonstrations and tent cities.
Tent cities? I wonder why Obama never tapped her to be the director of HUD?

At any rate, below is a live feed from the Green Party Convention. The sound was a little dodgy earlier, but they seem to have gotten that cleaned up for their speechifying and folk singing. Enjoy, and feel free to leave any observations in the comments section.

Watch live streaming video from greenpartyus at

A feature, not a bug

Sunday, April 15, 2012
Image via (click to enlarge)
Recently, as reported by AutoBlogGreen, the National automobile Dealers Association has claimed that the new 2025 fuel standards proposed by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration could price new cars out of the reach of up to 7 million consumers. As David Wagner, an analyst for the NADA Used Car Guide points out, "If the price of a vehicle goes up by the government estimate of almost $3,000, millions of people will no longer be able to finance a new vehicle."

This is of course causing some alarm. Naturally, regular Flares readers who know my capacity as a self-appointed muckity-muck in the Green movement are no doubt interested in my take on the matter.

I would like to point out that there is no real cause for alarm. While some peons may like to think they deserve a car to ride from their hovel home to their place of employment, they should remember that it is incumbent upon them that they lower their dreaded Carbon Footprint. For that reason, the little people are going to need to start considering alternate means of transportation to save the Planet from having its ocean's boiled away and/or another ice age.

Might I suggest donkey carts as a perfect alternative means of personal transportation?

As you can see in the picture above, a donkey cart need not be grim and depressing. You can decorate it in a festive manner and be proud to be seen riding it down the street. However, since I'm reasonably certain it would touch-off the animal rights people, I do not recommend painting your donkey to look like a zebra.    

Below is a video showing the ease at which you can parallel park a donkey cart. It leads to the question -- along with saving Gaia, is there anything that a donkey cart can't do that you can do in an automobile?

They found what they were looking for

Sunday, March 04, 2012

While looking through my Site Meter stats I was pleased to see the above query that led to my post I've burnished my Green credentials. It is good to see that I am finally being recognized for my self-proclaimed status as a Green Party mover and shaker. It's about time.

While that visit inspired me, it also humbled me. I realized that, due to my self-appointed leadership position among the Greens, it behooves me to instruct you peons on the proper way to live your lives. I realized that lately I have been somewhat remiss in such hectoring.

Previously I posted festive Holiday gruel recipes. As delicious as gruel is, I also know that you peasants like a bit of variation in your diet from time to time, so today I'm posting a recipe from Fuzziebutter's post Bad Recipe Wednesday: Pie Plate Salad.

Um... pay no attention to the "Bad Recipe" portion of that post title. I'm pretty sure that when FuzzieButter is using the word bad, they mean it in the slang style where the word means the exact opposite -- so in this case us hipsters and with-it folks understand that it really means "Good Recipe."

That confusion out of the way, a detailed description of the preparation of pie plate salad is at the link. The quick version: dump a can of veggies into some jello, chill it, and serve it garnished with a leaf of lettuce and some tartar sauce.

I know some of the organic gardener types will complain about the can of veggies. If so -- what, did you break both your arms? Quit whining and just chop up the vegetables yourself if you're one of those holier-than-thou foodie types. 

Pie plate salad

My new get rich quick scheme

Sunday, February 26, 2012
  1. Buy algae-choked Florida swamp land.
  2. Donate money to Obama's reelection campaign.
  3. Apply for Green subsidies to develop bio-fuel from algae.
  4. Squander grant money on high salaries and luxurious corporate HQ. 
  5. Apply for federal loan to bail out my company that is now swimming in red ink. 
  6. With the tax payers now on hook for my debt, take my cut and declare bankruptcy. 
  7. Retire to Caribbean island, drink mai tais and work on my tan. 

A Divine Matriarch descends upon humanity

Sunday, February 05, 2012
The Green Party slate of contenders vying to represent the party grew by one, and no doubt gained gravitas in the process, when Rosanne Barr was recognized as an official Green Party Presidential candidate by the party's Presidential Campaign Support Committee.

Well done Green Party, well done. Like I always say -- nothing makes a political party look serious more than running a  self-promoting comedienne as a candidate.

Apparently she announced that she was running for the Green Party nomination via her Twitter feed, where she said, "I will run until the convention in July in Baltimore-I fully expect Jill Stein 2b the nominee& I will support her, but til then-I'll serve."

In parsing her Lincolnesque campaign kick-off tweet, I did find it rather odd that it was little more than an endorsement for her opponent Jill Stein, but this is the Green Party after all, so such idiocy is to be expected.

Regardless, as a self appointed Grand Poobah of the Green Party I naturally want to weigh my endorsement of any candidate carefully, so I went to the website Rosanne's World to try to find some information on her positions. It seemed a bit out of date and all I could find was the following:

Mayan prophecy told us that Decenber 21st, 2011 was the date when Patriarchy would completely die off the face of the earth, and that January 24th, 2012 - Divine Matriarchy would descend upon humanity. 'The Temple of The Great Mother' is the first sacred woman space to be dedicated in this new Time.

Decenber 21st, 2011? Oh well, who among us hasn't botched an apocalyptic prediction? Not to mention, technically speaking the month of Decenber never did roll around in 2011, so maybe that's why us patriarchs dodged the bullet.

From digging around various news items about her announced candidacy, her positions appear to be: outlaw war, legalizing marijuana, forgiving all debts and to also back any other position she's ever read on a placard held by an #Occupy protestor.

 Of course my major concern regarding which Green candidate gets my endorsement is which candidate is willing to promise they'll appoint me as ambassador to Brazil, along with a new Embassy Condo located on Ipanema beach in Rio. So, if she wants my valuable endorsement she's going to have to put a cork in the Matriarchy/Patriarchy business long enough to promise me the post in Brazil.

Presidential campaign news you can use

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Regular Flairs readers will know that I am a huge supporter of the Green Party. As such, the little dust-up in New Hampshire is of little interest to me. However, there is exciting news on the Presidential campaign front: another Green Party candidate, Harley Mikkelson, has tossed his biodegradable hat into the ring!

The fellow with the flowing, golden locks and stern expession pictured to the right is Harley. He hails from Michigan. He bills himself as the "working class" candidate.

According to his biography he is from a poor family. He may have split rails as a youth, but I could be mixing him up with somebody else. Anyway, he attended Michigan State University intending to major in engineering, but after flunking calculus he decided he wanted to help people instead, so he got a degree in Psychology.

His working class credentials rest on him working for 26 years in the Michigan Departments of Community Health, Education, and Human Services. He was also active in Unions and honed his leadership skills by holding offices in them.

As he says of himself, "I spent my working life in jobs directly providing services to people with disabilities and people needing government assistance." Because of his helpful nature his platform consists of taxing the bejeezus out of us to pay for a blizzard of programs.

As with the other two Green candidates -- Jill Stein and Kent P. Mesplay -- I am withholding my endorsement contingent upon Harley's promise to appoint me as Ambassador to Brazil as well as furnishing me with an Embassy Condo located on Ipanema Beach.

As always, I await an answer with baited breath.

Holiday gruel recipes

Saturday, December 03, 2011
A woman enjoying a bowl of gruel
Regular readers of Flares will be familiar with the fact that I am a self appointed, high and mighty muckity-muck in the Green Party.

As a Green mentor, along with jetting off to Bali and such places for climate change conferences, one of my most important duties is assisting you peons in lowering your Planet killing carbon footprints.

Of course, one of the best things you can do as an eco-warrior is to eat sensibly, and that means chowing down on a tasty bowl of gruel for most of your meals.

Should you not be currently dining on gruel and want a recipe so's you can get on the path of sustainable food righteousness, below is a basic gruel recipe from the website Medieval Plus:  
1 tablespoon of oatmeal
2 tablespoons of cold water
1 pint of boiling water

Cooking Instructions
First put the oats, together with the cold water, into a saucepan and mix together until smooth. Then, over this, stirring all the time, pour one pint of boiling water. Now stirring frequently boil for 10 minutes. Serve. 

As mouthwatering as that sounds, you'll no doubt want to splurge a little and cook a more elaborate gruel meal for your festive holiday family dinner. A quick and easy way to add to your gruel's flavor, as long as you haven't invited Mayor Bloomberg to dine with you, is to add a bit of salt to the mix. Even more daring, you might add a pinch of sugar or some treacle. 

Another cooking adventure you can do is to substitute the oatmeal with barley, rice flour or crackers. Recipes for these types of gruels can be found at the Gruel Recipes page. Also, since it is the holidays, you shouldn't feel guilty if you really splurge and add some nutmeg, fruits, a small amount of meat or other ingredients to your gruel.

I hope these tips have been helpful, and bon appetit!

To be, or to be whatever you want to be

Saturday, November 05, 2011
As regular Flares readers will know, I have been a highly dedicated member of the Green Party since the 2008 elections. As such I have begun vetting the candidates for vying to run for President under the green banner. 

I've already discussed Jill Stein. Today I want to talk about Kent P. Mesplay, PhD, the only other candidate to toss his hat into the Green ring so far. That's him to the left. 

You can go to his webpage to read the full text of his announcement. I'll only quote the beginning of it to give you its flavor:
ENCINITAS, CA (May 17, 2011) - Greetings sister and brother Americans. My name is Dr. Kent Mesplay and I am running for president as a nominee of the Green Party of the United States. I do this for the following reasons and with the following intent: We live in a time of extreme challenge and unacceptable scape-goating. History teaches that the least among us are the first blamed for problems real and imagined. I run to counter-balance the wrath of the “right” toward immigrants, toward Mexicans, toward Native peoples. I am a life-long advocate of rain-forest dwellers and First Nations folk within our borders. Greens value diversity, justice and representation. I do this from my cross-cultural basis, my upbringing. I support a non-profit organization: the Pachamama or Mother Earth Alliance. I urge you to, as well.

I hear from independent scientists, educators and other critical thinkers who are concerned with the direction of our country: the politicization and commercialization of institutions large and small; the stifling, dangerous trend toward bland uniformity in thought; decision-making based upon fear of risk, fear of scarcity, and maintenance of the status quo. Even within politics in our so-called free and democratic republic, Greens, Libertarians and other ballot-qualified candidates are routinely arrested trying to get into debates. This is wrong. I ask for free and open debates to be established within Indian Country, where ballot-qualified candidates can go to speak without fear of arrest.
Erm... OK, since I'm a white guy that might pose a little bit of a problem. As you may recall I'm holding off my endorsement hoping to get a promise that I'll be appointed Ambassador to Brazil (contingent upon being able to move the Embassy from Brasilia to a condo overlooking Ipanema beach). Considering his statement, I'm not sure Dr. Mesplay would want to appoint a white oppressor such as myself to act as ambassador to the rainforest dwelling, First Nationers of the Amazon basin.

However, I may have a solution to my problem...

First, consider this Colbert Report video (and regardless of what you think of Colbert, you should give it a watch). In it Colbert is interviewing two OWS members. As a young lady named Ketchup is explaining up-twinkles and down-twinkles she lets slip that she's a female-bodied individual. Pressed on that, she explains that one could be a man trapped in female body and so categorizing females and males is too limiting. Hence, you're male-bodied or female-bodied

Frankly, considering the human-horse hybrid I've posted about, Ketchup probably ought to toss species in there too. If we're going to be ridiculous we may as well go whole hog: female-human-bodied or male-human-bodied.

We can take it even further. As silly as it sounds there is the Progressive notion that a person can, and should be allowed to, self-identify and belong to virtually any group you care to join. For example, you might mistake the picture to the right as being of a white male, but it is actually of an Australian aboriginal woman.
You may think I'm joking about that, but I'm not. He's Mark McMillan, a Sydney Australia law academic, and he's recently won the Black Women's Action in Education Foundation Scholarship. It turns out he is one of several fair skinned, blonde haired Australians who have been pawning themselves off as self-identifying as aborigines under rather dodging circumstances.

Worse, Andrew Bolt, a Herald Sun columnist, wrote an item pointing out the absurdities of their claims. He and the paper were then promptly taken to court charged that they had violated the Racial Discrimination Act 1975. They lost the case and were ordered to post a correction. Bolt and the Herald Sun's correction along with -- in what is surely a middle finger aimed at the presiding judge -- the original column can be read at the article White fellas in the black at the paper's online edition.

Some folks see that as another sign of the decline of Western civilization, I see it as an opportunity to debase myself for a shot at that Embassy Condo in Rio. So, while externally I may be male-Caucasian-human-bodied, internally I self-identify as a sustainable, rainforest dwelling, First Nationer in need of a beach view.

OK - but I refuse to exploit cows

Tuesday, October 25, 2011
As regular Flares readers know, since the 2010 elections I have been a huge supporter of the Green Party. As a result, it was naturally with considerable interest that I learned that Jill Stein had announced her candidacy to run for President under the Green banner. That's her pictured to the left.

You can go to the Jill Stein for President website and watch her announcement speech. I tried to watch it but, although the spirit was willing the flesh was weak, and so I must confess I dozed off a few minutes in to the 13 minutes it took for her to toss her hat into the ring.

I haven't endorsed her yet -- that depends upon whether she accedes to my request to be named Ambassador to Brazil (conditional upon allowing me to move the Embassy from Brazilia to a condo in Rio overlooking Ipanema beach) -- but of course I'll consider her.

The American Glob post Green Presidential Candidate Lays Claim To OWS, Panics Democrats points out that she is an enthusiastic supporter of the Occupy protests, so if I get that Ambassadorship I guess I'll have to stop mocking them and start supporting them instead.

Exploited cows
That's OK by me, I can be bought. However, I'm afraid I won't be able to join one of their camps. Aside from the fear of developing splitting headaches from the ceaseless bongo drumming, I don't think I could afford to buy all the cigarettes the bums would mooch off me. I would show support by buying them pizza, but I wouldn't want to offend Vegans who object to exploiting cows, goats and other mammals to produce cheese, and of course Vegan cheese is not a humane solution either.

They'll just have to accept my word that I support them 110%

I've burnished my Green credentials

Thursday, October 06, 2011
If Obama is right, one day this vehicle will be powered by unicorn farts.
Regular Flares readers may recall that, since the 2010 elections, I am a member of the Green Party. I joined the party because I noticed that environmentalist muckity-mucks like Al Gore got to live in huge houses while the proles were destined to a life in hovels, biking to work and dining on gruel. Since that doesn't appeal to me, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and joined the Greens so's I can cash in on the sweet life. 

It has occurred to me that now that I am a mover and shaker in the Green Party I probably ought to burnish my Green credentials a little. Thus, when the Flares Mobile started getting long in the tooth I decided to Go Green. That's it above, with its spiffy new Green paint job and renamed the Flares Eco-Mobile.  

I repainted the car a few weeks ago and then, as Solyndra unfolded, I realized I was still but a newbie to this Eco scam business. If I had been on my toes surely I could have tapped into 10 or 20 million dollars of stimulus money to do some testing of my new Eco-Mobile. 

Hmmm... I wonder if it is too late to drop Van Jones an email?

Sorry suckers, but the race goes to the swift

Monday, November 01, 2010
I'm in Atlanta this week. To the left is the TV news I can watch here. The local coverage is about Georgia races I know little about. It doesn't matter, I voted in Florida last week before I took my trip.

As for my vote, after observing Al Gore's life style I decided that if I aligned my self as a member of the Elite Class I could, with a clear conscience, have a huge house filled with many flat screened TVs, incandescent light bulbs, SUVs parked in the drive and what-not,  so I voted a straight Green ticket. 

'Course, there's a rather different fate in store for you. I'll now be exhorting you to live in a hovel, eat nothing but locally grown gruel, and in general keep your carbon footprint as small as possible. Sorry for tossing you all under the bus, but -- what can I say -- a weasels gotta do what a weasels gotta do.  Go Green and Hoo-rah!!!

Anyways, here's to a happy election day and bear in mind, whatever else may happen, at least we won't have to watch any of those damn campaign commercials for a while.