The dictator's dog

Behold the Mighty Leader's pet dog 

Long time Flares readers will know that, from time to time, I rant and rave about the insane dictators of Turkmenistan. Most dictators are fond of putting up statues to their own glory. The leaders of Turkmenistan are no exception, and they take that urge to lunatic heights. 

I've often made fun of the previous Turkmen ruler, the late and not lamented Turkmenbashi, and the ridiculous golden statue of himself that twirled around and around so he always faced the sun. That masterpiece of dictator kitsch has since been slightly desecrated by moving it to the suburbs of Ashgabat and unplugging its electric motor. 

However, never fear, the former dentist and current President for Life of Turkmenistan Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov has not deserted the tradition of erecting preposterous monuments. One of his latest, unveiled in November of 2020, is a giant golden statue of a dog of the Alaby breed, a Central Asian sheep herding dog. 

He owns a dog of the same breed -- I don't know its name so I'll call it Fluffy so's we know who I'm talking about. Anyway, although I'm not sure (and when did that ever stop me?), I like to think that the statue's model was Fluffy, so I imagine it is a statue of the dictator's dog. Yea, that's some sketchy reasoning, but it's good enough for me. All hail Fluffy!                            

Wider view of Fluffy's statue

Berdymukhammedov and his beloved pet Fluffy

Fluffy gets introduced to Vladimir Putin

Return of the Turkmenbashi

Regular readers will know that I have long admired the ridiculous inspirational twirling statue of the Turkmenbashi, the late and not exactly beloved ruler of Turkmenistan. As you may recall, shortly after his death in 2006 the former dentist and current President for Life of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, removed the Arch of Neutrality upon which the statue rotated and shipped the monstrosity to the suburbs. Eventually he removed the statue altogether.

This month, and much to the disgust of a good portion of the citizenry of Turkmenistan, Berdymukhammedov unveiled the statue in its new resting place, the Monument of Neutrality. Although tragically it no longer rotates so the Turkmenbashi always faces the sun, at 312 ft tall the new Monument of Neutrality is nearly 100 ft taller than the old Arch of Neutrality.

While most citizens are not thrilled to see a return of the ludicrous golden statue of the Turkmenbashi, the website Transmission, in their article Golden Turkmenbashi Finds New Home, reports on one Turkmen who sees a benefit to it:

At least one Turkmen observer, however, sees a silver lining around this gilded eyesore. "This monument provokes great interest among tourists who come to Turkmenistan," notes a travel agent based in Asghabat. "For foreign tourists, this is a monument of dictatorship and despotic willfulness. But for us, this is an embarrassment and unfortunately we get popularity with our absurd architectural excesses."

Noooooooo...

Long time readers of Flares will know that I've long had a fascination with the Turkmenbashi, the previous ruler of Turkmanistan who is currently pushing up daisies. Among his many eccentricities, he busily worked at creating a Cult of Personality surrounding himself. Naturally, this included giant statues of himself -- the most famous being the Neutrality Arch, which featured a gold played statue of the Turkmenbashi which rotated to always face the sun.

Recently, Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, the new President of of Turkmanistan, has decide to move the Neutrality Arch from downtown Ashgabat to the suburbs. Man, will the indignities never end? Next they be changing the names of the week back to what they were before.

Hmmm... if they're getting rid of those statues, I wonder if my neighbors would mind if I bought one an erected it in my front yard?