Turkmenistan's answer to Monaco is kaput

The Arkadag at the helm

A couple of years ago the former dentist and current President for Life of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, a.k.a. The Arkadag, became enamored with yachting. The Russian gas and resources company Itera gave him a gift of the €60m luxury yacht Galkynysh (Revival). It was the largest sized yacht that could fit in the canals leading to the Caspian Sea. As EurAsiaNet reports, it had "a helipad, an elevator, a sauna, an on-deck gym, and its own library."

When he first got it he and various dignitaries, presumably all dressed like Thurston Howell III, spent a lot of time aboard it. He even held cabinet meetings on the yacht.

Because of his enthusiasm for it, and because Turkmenistani leaders are prone to grandiose building schemes, it was decided to add marinas to the Turkmenistan resort of Avaza so that not only would it rival Las Vegas, but it would also be the Monaco of the Caspian Sea. Regular regattas, and even a race for the Avaza Cup were envisioned. 

Then the Arkadag lost interest in the yacht and the Caspian Monaco scheme fell out of favor. That is probably a good thing, because the only other place to sail in the Caspian is to Baku and its perpetual oil slick.  Still, the marina plans are still sort of plodding along. After all, if there is money to be wasted on crazy building plans, Turkmenistan is the place to waste it.

The bright spot in The Arkadag losing interest in yachting is the relief of the residents of the Port of Turkmenbashi where it is moored. When he used to visit the yacht the police made them stay inside and out of sight. Presumably The Arkadag didn't want the scenery spoiled by impoverished Turkmenistani bumpkins loitering about. 

Good news & bad news

Arkadag gets his hand smooched

First the good news. I've complained a few times that the former dentist, and current President for Life of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov has too long of a name. For some time I've wished he had a shorter and snappier nickname like his predecessor the Turkmanbashi. 

Much to my embarrassment I discovered that he had been awarded a nickname during a military parade in October of last year. His new nickname is Arkadag, which means the Protector. 

Now the bad news. In doing research for my moribund Free Ma-Ro blog campaign, I've discovered that The Askabag has declared a New Renaissance in the art, literature and music of  Turkmenistan. As an example, this decree probably explains why, if you're a painter, you really, really want to paint horses.

Having apparently demolished the visual arts, Turkmenistan’s Ministry of Culture, Television and Radio Broadcasting has stated that all songs should now be orientated towards promoting the New Renaissance epoch. Of course, it goes without saying, the best way to do that is to sing the praises of the Arkadag.

The Askadag and the Turkmenbashi

As the Chronicals of Turkmenistan report in their article Patriotic repertoire for restaurants and cafes, this even goes so far as dictating to dining extablishments that that are "responsible for the content of the songs, performed during staff parties, weddings and other festivities which are held at their venues." In other words, it's now all Askadag praise, all the time. 

As one of the case owners sarcastically said, “I am afraid that according to the next instruction we will be forced to have two menus. One would have names of dishes whereas the other - the names of the songs devoted to the President!"

The Turkmenbashi was certainly an enormous lunatic and he'll be hard to top, but, sadly for the citizens of Turkmenistan, it looks like the Askadag is willing to give it the old college try.