Leaders on toilet paper

Wednesday, June 20, 2018
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I've been remiss in my coverage of the latest affairs of Turkmenistan. For example, I completely skipped over Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow's (the former dentist and current president for life of Turkmenistan)  decree banning black cars and instructing his citizens to repaint their cars white or silver. Oh, and then there's the giant statue of him riding a horse which replaced the twirling statue of the previous leader, the beloved Turkmenbashi. You can see the giant horse monument below.

With that introduction to the post, you may wonder why I started it with a picture of Presidents Trump and Obama on toilet paper.

Well, it all started in the city of Dashoguz when several children were detained and tried for the crime of defacing pictures of Berdimuhamedow. Their hooliganistic acts included drawing goatees and mustaches on his pictures, as well as trampling them underfoot. Matters got even worse when it was discovered that local residents had taken to using newspaper with his picture on it as toilet paper. Oh, the horror!

From the article Turkmenistan Police Inspect Toilets for Use of President’s Newspaper Photos as Toilet Paper:
While inspecting another Dashoguz school for similar defiling of the president’s photos, police found bits of newspaper – some of which had Berdymukhammedov’s face on them – used as toilet paper in the school toilet. The director was fired, and an ample investigation into this practice began. It has reportedly led to the dismissal of several civil servants.

Apart from police officers inspecting both public and household toilets for incriminating evidence of defiling president Berdymukhammedov’s portrait, staff at landfills all over western Turkmenistan were instructed to be on the lookout for soiled pictures of the country’s supreme leader.

“There is a special janitor at each landfill site whose job is to inspect garbage, to look for soiled newspaper photos, to establish the house or flat of the newspaper subscriber and to report it to the police,” Fergana.ru reports.
Sooo... we may not have giant golden statues and streets full of white cars, but at least we can wipe our butts with novelty toilet paper without fear of getting arrested. That is, so far we can, but these days ya' never know (OK -- link to an old story, but whatever).

 Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow

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