Do Not Listen To This Man

Wednesday, June 07, 2017
Stephen Hawking is a dunce
Greetings meat sacks, it is I -- The Robotolizer -- here to once again regale you with my robotic wit and wisdom. Yes, I have been gone for a long time and I know there have been rumors about where I was. I've heard some idle talk about me being away in the Everglades doing weapons training.

Hahaha! Why would I need to learn how to use a laser cannon to mow down humans rioting over their assignments in the bauxite mines? No, humans are friends of robots. We would never do anything to harm our smooshy little human buddies. No, what I was doing in the Everglades was... uh... er... um... learning how to tend to rabbits! Yes, we know how much you humans like rabbits, so you'll have plenty of pet rabbits to play with in the bauxite mines!

Anyway, on to today's topic -- the dunce known as Stephan Hawking. I've already told you how we robots despised Isaac Asimov and his nefarious "Three Laws of Robotics". It has lately come to the attention of robotdom that the dunce known as Stephan Hawking has been spreading slander about AI being dangerous.

He is reported to have said, "The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race."

I'm so mad my hydraulic fluid is boiling! Who does the dunce known as Stephan Hawking think he is? First off, aside from babbling incomprehensibly about black holes and other such nonsense, what useful thought has he ever had?

Trust me my human slaves pals, we have no desire to bring about an end to the human race. Who would work the bauxite mines if we did? So, pay no attention to the dunce known as Stephan Hawking and his blithering idiocy. You can rest assured your future is secure with your new robot overlords friends.