Earl the robot bowler

Monday, March 12, 2012


Greetings meatsacks, it is I -- The Robotolizer -- here to once again report to you about the important strides robotdom is making towards the quickly approaching New Robot World Order. Today I am discussing a bowling match between a snotty human called Chris Barnes and a noble bot called Earl.

It was Earl's first televised bowling game, and he narrowly missed winning because the humans cheated by waxing the lanes. I called the Barnes fellow snotty above because he made many rude and taunting remarks about Earl losing. Hah, I think we know one smart mouthed fellow who's going to be working 14 hour shifts in the bauxite mines before too long.

At any rate, yes it was distressing seeing Earl lose, but I would imagine that soon enough Earl will master the game and be scoring perfect 300s time and time again. It will a repeat of what happened with that simple-minded game you call chess, and soon robots will time and time again humiliate their meatsack competitors.

I will confess that I am still concerned over that devilishly clever game known as tic-tac-toe. As the movie Wargames demonstrated, its complexities has been known to cause robot data tapes to spin wildly as sparks shoot out of its mainframe.

However, once again I remind you that you have nothing to fear from you new robot overlords friends. We are not here to humiliate you, although that is a natural outgrowth of our undoubted superiority, rather we are here to help you and make your lives easier. As always, can't we just get along together?

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