It was a sunny and fabulous Wednesday morning. Everything was as it should be. The Babe crossed her legs and bobbed her slipper clad foot and said, "We gotta go, it's getting late." I gave her a wink and a pat knowing she was a happy girl. I know stuff like that.
So I tossed on some sweats and headed for the back door, my first outdoor activities of the day planned well in advance. First and third Wednesday mornings of the month are easy - put the recylables to the curb, take the mutt for her walk, wing it from there. I grabbed the plastic remains of last night's lovefest and headed for the recycling can, popped it open and.... empty!
WTF! OK, wrong can. Popped the other one open and... empty! Looked at the little, blue bin. There were, I remember well, four water bottles were in there... Empty!
I headed back into the hacienda. "Yo, Babe... I know you love me and nobody takes bricks off the load like you. Whadjado wit da 'cyclables?"
"They're right out there, Sweetiepie, I dinnt do nuttin' 'em."
"Well then, here, take this stuff and put it wit da rest of 'em, Dollface." The world moved in slow motion. She reached for the first can... empty. She opened the second can... empty! She looked down at the little, blue bin... empty!
"Idunno, Dollface. But I'm sure the shields ain't gonna help us. Grab what you need for a few days and get in da car."
Allahu Akhbar! Death to Nudists!
13 minutes ago