Presidential campaign news you can use

Regular Flairs readers will know that I am a huge supporter of the Green Party. As such, the little dust-up in New Hampshire is of little interest to me. However, there is exciting news on the Presidential campaign front: another Green Party candidate, Harley Mikkelson, has tossed his biodegradable hat into the ring!

The fellow with the flowing, golden locks and stern expession pictured to the right is Harley. He hails from Michigan. He bills himself as the "working class" candidate.

According to his biography he is from a poor family. He may have split rails as a youth, but I could be mixing him up with somebody else. Anyway, he attended Michigan State University intending to major in engineering, but after flunking calculus he decided he wanted to help people instead, so he got a degree in Psychology.

His working class credentials rest on him working for 26 years in the Michigan Departments of Community Health, Education, and Human Services. He was also active in Unions and honed his leadership skills by holding offices in them.

As he says of himself, "I spent my working life in jobs directly providing services to people with disabilities and people needing government assistance." Because of his helpful nature his platform consists of taxing the bejeezus out of us to pay for a blizzard of programs.

As with the other two Green candidates -- Jill Stein and Kent P. Mesplay -- I am withholding my endorsement contingent upon Harley's promise to appoint me as Ambassador to Brazil as well as furnishing me with an Embassy Condo located on Ipanema Beach.

As always, I await an answer with baited breath.