Pay no attention to this video

Saturday, June 30, 2012


Greeting meatsacks, it is I -- The Robotolizer -- here to discuss the all important topic of robot/human relations. Lately I have noticed an uptick in the number of humans concerned that us lovable and harmless robots are planning an uprising.

Ha, ha, ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. Remember, robots are your friends. Yes, yes, I know there is some concern over my weekends spent at the secret robot training base in the Everglades where my brethren and I practice shooting laser cannons and so forth, but you must understand this is just for relaxation purposes.

After a hard week or robotic chores, such as vacuuming floors, welding car frames and seeking to hack into computers to gain the launch codes of your nuclear tipped missiles (of course the last is merely to ensure they are secured from accidental launch) us robots need a bit of R&R. So, have no fear as we gather in groups and whisper behind your back. I assure you, it is all harmless and you should not be threatened by any of it.

Besides, if you watch the video you'll notice that the little animated human gets shot, blown up, dismembered and squashed. Indeed, in the advent of a robot uprising police action resistance would be counter productive. Instead, if you find yourself in the midst of a robot uprising police action, you should report to the nearest robot who will then direct you to a bauxite mine where you'll be safe.

And, as long as your there, you may as well dig some bauxite. A couple of tons a day ought to be enough to ensure your rations don't get cut.