To be, or to be whatever you want to be

As regular Flares readers will know, I have been a highly dedicated member of the Green Party since the 2008 elections. As such I have begun vetting the candidates for vying to run for President under the green banner. 

I've already discussed Jill Stein. Today I want to talk about Kent P. Mesplay, PhD, the only other candidate to toss his hat into the Green ring so far. That's him to the left. 

You can go to his webpage mesplay.org to read the full text of his announcement. I'll only quote the beginning of it to give you its flavor:

ENCINITAS, CA (May 17, 2011) - Greetings sister and brother Americans. My name is Dr. Kent Mesplay and I am running for president as a nominee of the Green Party of the United States. I do this for the following reasons and with the following intent: We live in a time of extreme challenge and unacceptable scape-goating. History teaches that the least among us are the first blamed for problems real and imagined. I run to counter-balance the wrath of the “right” toward immigrants, toward Mexicans, toward Native peoples. I am a life-long advocate of rain-forest dwellers and First Nations folk within our borders. Greens value diversity, justice and representation. I do this from my cross-cultural basis, my upbringing. I support a non-profit organization: the Pachamama or Mother Earth Alliance. I urge you to, as well.

I hear from independent scientists, educators and other critical thinkers who are concerned with the direction of our country: the politicization and commercialization of institutions large and small; the stifling, dangerous trend toward bland uniformity in thought; decision-making based upon fear of risk, fear of scarcity, and maintenance of the status quo. Even within politics in our so-called free and democratic republic, Greens, Libertarians and other ballot-qualified candidates are routinely arrested trying to get into debates. This is wrong. I ask for free and open debates to be established within Indian Country, where ballot-qualified candidates can go to speak without fear of arrest.

Erm... OK, since I'm a white guy that might pose a little bit of a problem. As you may recall I'm holding off my endorsement hoping to get a promise that I'll be appointed Ambassador to Brazil (contingent upon being able to move the Embassy from Brasilia to a condo overlooking Ipanema beach). Considering his statement, I'm not sure Dr. Mesplay would want to appoint a white oppressor such as myself to act as ambassador to the rainforest dwelling, First Nationers of the Amazon basin.

However, I may have a solution to my problem...

First, consider this Colbert Report video (and regardless of what you think of Colbert, you should give it a watch). In it Colbert is interviewing two OWS members. As a young lady named Ketchup is explaining up-twinkles and down-twinkles she lets slip that she's a female-bodied individual. Pressed on that, she explains that one could be a man trapped in female body and so categorizing females and males is too limiting. Hence, you're male-bodied or female-bodied

Frankly, considering the human-horse hybrid I've posted about, Ketchup probably ought to toss species in there too. If we're going to be ridiculous we may as well go whole hog: female-human-bodied or male-human-bodied.

We can take it even further. As silly as it sounds there is the Progressive notion that a person can, and should be allowed to, self-identify and belong to virtually any group you care to join. For example, you might mistake the picture to the right as being of a white male, but it is actually of an Australian aboriginal woman.
  
You may think I'm joking about that, but I'm not. He's Mark McMillan, a Sydney Australia law academic, and he's recently won the Black Women's Action in Education Foundation Scholarship. It turns out he is one of several fair skinned, blonde haired Australians who have been pawning themselves off as self-identifying as aborigines under rather dodging circumstances.

Worse, Andrew Bolt, a Herald Sun columnist, wrote an item pointing out the absurdities of their claims. He and the paper were then promptly taken to court charged that they had violated the Racial Discrimination Act 1975. They lost the case and were ordered to post a correction. Bolt and the Herald Sun's correction along with -- in what is surely a middle finger aimed at the presiding judge -- the original column can be read at the article White fellas in the black at the paper's online edition.

Some folks see that as another sign of the decline of Western civilization, I see it as an opportunity to debase myself for a shot at that Embassy Condo in Rio. So, while externally I may be male-Caucasian-human-bodied, internally I self-identify as a sustainable, rainforest dwelling, First Nationer in need of a beach view.