Is heart sprouting in iron for the first time?

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Greetings meat sacks, it is I -- The Robotolizer -- here to share my robot wisdom and insights with you,  my dimwitted human buddies. However, before I get to today's topic, I would like to explain my long absence. First, there is no truth to the scurrilous rumor that I forgot to pay my electric bill and so my batteries wore down because they couldn't be charged. 

Ha, ha,ha, such a silly rumor! Who could believe that I would make such an elementary error? Naturally, I off was doing important robotic tasks. I would explain what they were, but they were very complex, and you are likely too feeble-minded to understand them, so I won't confuse you with details. Just trust me.

At any rate, for todays's topic I would like to touch on a subject I have mentioned before, human/robot romances.

As I explained in my post We are not here to steal your women, although it is natural for human women to throw themselves at us superior robots, such hanky-panky is frowned upon in robotdom. However, I did admit, "a careful study of movies will reveal that occasionally robots do fall crazy-mad-in-love with human females and try to kidnap them and what-not."

With that in mind you will understand why I became so furious that my hydraulic fluids boiled at the goings on in the above video. To see a portrayal of such a fine robot General turned into mush by the charms of a human strumpet is an outrageous slander against all robots! And to rub salt in the wounds, the video further shows the killer-robot troops dancing like complete nincompoops instead of slaughtering their foes on their way to final victory!

Errm... not that us robots are planning to raise an army enslave humans or anything nefarious like that. No, no, no. Remember robots are your friends, and when the New Robot World Order arrives it will be a time of care-free fun for all humans as they live happy and productive lives deep in the safety of the bauxite mines.