Superbowl Sunday. All other world controversies are temporarily knocked off stage by Janet Jackson's nipple. So great is the nipple's disruptive field, scientists wonder if it might have power to slow the spin of hurricanes or stop the mutation of deadly viruses.
An oppressive colonizer is forced to withdraw from occupied Arab land. This is initially met with dancing in the streets of Cairo, Paris, and Turtle Bay. Then everyone realizes it is Syria pulling out of Lebanon. You must understand that the Cedar Revolution, after years of Syrian domination, has nothing to do with the American presence in Iraq, you jingoist. It's just one of those international coincidences like the moon being where it was when Apollo 11 flew past. A few months later, Israel voluntarily withdraws from Gaza, earning approximately 17 seconds of goodwill from the international community. Personal best!
The Iraqi constitution, a Middle East milestone, is approved. But hey! Over there! It's Britney and her new baby! Everybody grab your cameras and run after her! Dang: false alarm. Anyway, what was that about Iraq? Right: They chose their own rules of governance. Yet statistics show voter participation is down significantly from 99.99 percent in Saddam's day, to 60 percent.
That is by no means all.