A Carmageddon substitute

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Carmageddon, the massive traffic jam predicted because a section of a L.A. freeway is being closed for work this weekend, hasn't exactly materialized. It seems that, warned of the closed stretch of roadway people figured out detours or avoided it altogether. Geez -- who could have ever predicted that happening?

Still, if you planned on vicariously watch California's Carmageddon via news helicopters you likely feel cheated. Rest assured, there are alternatives. 

There is the vehicular combat video game series Carmageddon, but it is an old game and besides, mashing on buttons is too much work if you just wanted to sit on your couch, eat popcorn and watch California's Carmageddon on the boob tube. 

I think the best bet for a Carmageddon fix is the movies. Granted there aren't many traffic jam movies, but there are plenty of movies with car crashes in them, and to my mind car crashes say Carmageddon a lot better than traffic jams any day of the week. 

However, which car crash movie to watch? 

You may differ, and your suggestions in the comments certainly are welcome, but after turning the matter over in my mind for I decided on The Thing With Two Heads starring Ray Milland and Rosey Grier. 

As you can no doubt infer from the title it is a completely absurd B-movie. The plot revolves around a rich, white bigot getting his head transplanted onto the body of a black death row inmate. After the operation the black convict, who's trying to prove his innocence, escapes with Milland's head grafted onto his shoulder. Milland's head alternates between bitching at Grier, snoring when it is sound asleep and putting a dent in Rosie's love life. Yes folks, this film is social commentary at its finest. 

Eventually, to burn up screen time without the need to write dialog, plot points and what-not, the Thing With Two Heads ends up on a dirt bike being chased by oodles of crashing cop cars. This scene goes on for 20 minutes. Even if it is poorly staged mayhem in a low budget movie -- that's a Carmageddon!