Thursday, December 22, 2005

Important information for men seeking to attract a mate

According to this, men who dance well are more attractive to women. This is bad news for those of you who, like me, present a very real and potentially lethal danger to others when we're on the floor, for whom "cutting a rug" is likely to be perceived by others as "stomping a toe", "throwing an elbow", or, in the worse case, "simple assault".

The takeaway for all of you (and you know who you are) is this: DON'T DANCE! Not only will it quite possibly land you in jail (which you knew already), there is now scientific proof that it will cost you any chance you might have had with any women who happen to be in the room, even the ones you don't physically harm.

We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging.

15 comments:

MeaninglessHotAir said...

David,

You should have listened to Archie Goodwin.

buddy larsen said...

I was fine with dancing if the lady wanted to--until the damn video camera and somebody's wedding one time long ago. Remember the death scene of the robot "Ash" in "Alien"?

Syl said...

Heh

There is truth to this.

vnjagvet said...

Thank heaven I have already attracted my only mate.

My mom made a good investment when she sent me to Mr. Uhl's dancing school. The waltz, foxtrot, Lindy Hop, white gloves -- all very polite and sedate.

Rug cutting, indeed.

chuck said...

“Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.” -- GBS

Yeah. And his point was?

gumshoe said...

don't move yo lips,
just shake yo hips.

buddy larsen said...

The Lincolns, Mr. & Mrs., had no easy time of it. The war, of course, with the unrelenting and enormous casualties, and losing to illness their 10 year-old much, much beloved son at the very nadir of that war, a tremendous, continual, almost barbaric political oppo (besides the fellow Americans across the river under a different flag), and the fact that both Mr. and Mrs. suffered from what we now call clinical depression and in the case of Mrs., a very acute case, with complications. Then of course the sad event at Ford's Theater. No triumphal Caesar he.

buddy larsen said...

well, from personal experience, if you mate up with a complex, artistic, temperamental, conflicted person, on the assumption that love conquers all and besides watching her sort herself out will be fascinating--uh--well, let's just say, that might not work out quite the way you had forecast (ouch x ~).

OTOH (ht InstaP) lotsa folks got problems! \:-(

buddy larsen said...

"Two broke feet, and Left"

buddy larsen said...

Ah, I used to have so many gals beating on my door, I'd have to get up and let 'em out.

Syl said...

LOL you guys!

Knuck is right about humor though. My guy hasn't seen his knees since he was 13! But oh, he can make me laugh.

buddy larsen said...

It's the shower of Mace from the other dancers that bothers me.

buddy larsen said...

har--killer post, Peter. Coulda been more timely--but I guess the net wasn't around when I really needed the advice. Pony Express was, tho.

buddy larsen said...

...I agree--and if it hadn't been for all them corn-likker distillers, there wouldn't a been so many hardcore barns dancing.

buddy larsen said...

I'm never as think as people drunk I am.