Joel Achenbach - Please Fence Me In -

Saturday, November 25, 2006
Joel Achenbach - Please Fence Me In - "First we must decide how, exactly, to build the big fence between the United States and Mexico. An attempt by Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.) to locate the fence in his home state has proved unsuccessful. Engineers have shot down the proposal by some liberal groups -- a white picket fence with flower boxes and, every quarter-mile, a swinging gate -- as insufficiently intimidating. The National Bamboo Association has gotten nowhere with its proposal to build a 'Grass Curtain.'

Conservatives, meanwhile, hope the fence will set a standard for what they call The New Repellence. They want hidden cameras, gargoyles, searchlights, machine guns, death rays, booby traps and, in what some say is overkill, a missile-defense system to blast from the sky any nuclear weapons launched by smugglers."


chuck said...

And, finally, The America Dome: Covers the entire United States of America. Impenetrable and opaque, it facilitates our new motto: "What Happens in the Rest of the World Stays in the Rest of the World."

I could go for that! Just need some doors on top so we can launch satellites and space exploration rockets. Also, all new emigrants from Europe should register for firearms training and be required to purchase a hand gun.

terrye said...

When I was a kid in grade school I came up with an idea like that and they all laughed at me. Ahead of my time, just like Hedy Lamarr.

Seneca the Younger said...

That's "Hedly".