### You Gotta Laugh

Monday, March 05, 2007

From Flopping Aces

Buddy said...

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
What is the total?

Buddy said...

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

chuck said...

Nunu.

Buddy said...

Nope, it's "Mary".

chuck said...

Buddy said...

didja get "5000" on the first one?

Buddy said...

most people (sez the riddler who sent it to me) get 5000, and have to use a pencil or a calculator to convince themselves that it's actually 4100.

chuck said...

I got 4100 as follows:

4*1000 + 10*(1+2+3+4)

This can also be done

(1040 + 1010)*4/2

as it is an arithmetic series. I do better with numbers than words.

Buddy said...

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He always works everything out with a pencil.

(*groan*)

chuck said...

OK, I stole this one from the comments on LGF.

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While there, he is VERY sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with BRIGHT GREEN and PURPLE spots!

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".

The doctor answers: " I'm sorry ,there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely NOT! I want a second opinion!".

The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your ONLY choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very LARE disease".

The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to OPELATE! Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait another couple of weeks. Penis fall off by itself!"

terrye said...

5,000

and her nickname was Nunu

I am not even touching the other math question

That poor man. That poor poor man.

I wonder what kind of symptoms the female has? hate to think.

Buddy said...

This Asian guy is on work assignment in the USA, and everytime he converts his paycheck to dollars, he gets a slightly different amount. Finally he gets exasperated, and demands to know why.

The bank teller explains "Currency fluctuations".

Asian guy answers, "Oh yeah? Well maybe someday currency fluks you Amelicans, too!"

(terrye--i got 5000, too. weird ain't it.)

Buddy said...

Libby Guilty, Cheney Gets 30 Years, Bush Impeached

by Scott Ott "Scrappleface")

(2007-03-06) — Former vice presidential aide I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, convicted today of four counts of lying to federal investigators about a law that he didn’t break, said he feels “very badly” that Vice President Dick Cheney now faces up to 30 years in federal prison, and President George Bush will be impeached.

“I know that this case wasn’t about me, or even about Valerie Plame,” said Mr. Libby, “so I don’t take it personally. But Dick Cheney and George Bush are fine men and I hate to see them suffer.”

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald celebrated the jury’s verdict as a “vindication of the American legal system.”

“It’s a good lesson to our children that we are a nation of laws,” said Mr. Fitzgerald, “and when serious charges are made about laws that haven’t been broken by high-ranking officials, justice demands that someone be convicted of something, and that someone goes to jail.”

Mr. Fitzgerald, asked what he would do now that the trial is over, said, “I’m going to Disney World to give Snow White an opportunity to perjure herself.”