After some chicken strips, nachos, popcorn, Gummi Bears, and ice cream bars, Cindy (Sheehan) suggested perhaps a calm and inspirational ride that promotes peace was in order so we all headed for “Its a Small World”. This ride started out well enough, what with all the little children of different nations singing an upbeat song of togetherness and love. I was moved to tears as I wondered why our government couldn’t behave more like these beautiful children of peace.
Unfortunately, things went from good to bad in a hurry as we progressed to room after room inhabited with what seemed to be a million of those little robotic humanoids singing “It’s A Small World” over and over and over. That song got into my head so bad that by the time they got me out of there I was catatonic and suffering mild heart palpitations.
Two days later I still can’t sleep without seeing those armies of tiny ethnic dolls, all moving in unison, singing that stupid, insipid song while their little beady glass eyes stare into my very soul. Whew, I still get chills just thinking about it!
Take it from me: Disneyland + Tai sticks = trouble.
2 comments:
I had to run fetch my bongo drums, and re-read it aloud. Then I went right into reciting Alan Ginsberg's Walt Whitman thieveries in free-form....
Consider how long that music would be ringing in your ears if you made
50 CONSECUTIVE TRIPS on that ride!
That's what went on on the Hugh Hewitt show:
See Capt Ed's account below.
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This was great radio, if anything, funnier than Capt Ed describes.
Hewitt's extremely sadistic streak was on full display, and his manical
laugh was bone chilling.
...Meanwhile, THAT music droned on in the background of Duane's Reports!
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May 06, 2005
It's An Extremely Claustrophobic World
If you missed Hugh Hewitt's show last night, you missed one of the funniest and strangely compelling endings to a radio broadcast ever. Hugh broadcast his show from Disneyland yesterday as the granddaddy of theme parks celebrates its 50th anniversary this month. Despite being the best political talk show on radio, Hugh likes to spice it up occasionally by switching to fun locales and covering cultural topics -- and when he does, you can expect him to come up with a way to torture his producer, Generalissimo Duane, in some novel and hilarious way ... hilarious to us, of course.
This time, Hugh came up with the fabulous idea of sending Duane through the slow-boat ride, It's A Small World. Those of us who have been to Disneyland on multiple occasions -- I grew up in nearby Cerritos and literally lived next door to it for two periods of my adult life -- know that Small World is only good for two purposes once you're past 8 years of age: putting the smaller kids to sleep at the end of the day, and giving your tired feet a rest.
Neither of these purposes require fifty consecutive trips through the ride, listening to the oh-so-catchy theme song until you're driven crazy by its unbearable cheeriness.
However, Duane details on Radioblogger exactly that mission, and how Hugh sadistically finished off what was left of his sanity in the show's final moments. The First Mate and I laughed so hard at Duane's desperation that tears were streaming down our cheeks. (Sorry, Duane, but it was brilliant radio.) He also has pictures, but surprisingly omits the ones where he strangles Hugh in his sleep. Be sure to read the entire post.
. Posted by Captain Ed at May 6, 2005 12:35 PM
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