The Timestanic

Friday, November 03, 2006
You gotta read this from the Anchoress .

Times Peon #1: HOLY CRAP, Mr. Keller, did we just validate everything Dick Cheney and Colin Powell and stupid evil George Bush said to the UN? When we’re spilling secrets, we’re not supposed to do that!

Keller: OMG, WE DID! We DID validate these scheming nazi theocon bastards!!!

Times Peon #2: And…and…and what about Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame and those sixteen words Bush said…you know, the impeachable 16 words about the Brit intelligence and the Yellowcake! Jim Geraghty at TKS says we might have freaking validated that story, too!

Keller: Ohhhhhh crap! And freaking bloggers! Okay, let’s spin this, baby, spin it! All hands on deck! Turn this ship around! Call Chris Matthews! Call MoDo - no, wait, don’t call her, she’ll make it worse by pretending to be Emma Peel, or something - call Bob Herbert! He’s a wiz at shifting the rudder! Spin, spin! Call Olbermann!

Peon #3: Aye, Aye, captain! Uh, sir, Olbermann is chewing floorboard and Matthews is crying, again. Should we call Judith Miller, sir?

Keller: Jesus God Almighty! No, no, just let her stay buried!

mes Peon #2: There is no God but Allah, sir, and Mohammed is his prophet. Be careful with those acclamations or we might get into trouble with Islamofa-

Keller: Don’t you say Islamofascists, Peon! You know the only fascists on this planet live in the White House and…some place in Kansas…

Sometimes I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone.


Ed onWestSlope said...


There are times we each must go outside, smell the flowers, take a walk, pet the dog (or cat) and confirm that we have not been transported to another planet during the last night spell.

Now if we can figure out a way transport a goodly number ...

Rick Ballard said...


If you're talking us being transported then the destination is very important. If you're talking them - why does there have to be a destination?

Seneca the Younger said...

Remember, a blue Jaunte is almost certainly fatal.

chuck said...

Remember, a blue Jaunte is almost certainly fatal.

Even for the Bester of us.

Doug said...

More from the Times Funny Paper:

The Great Divider

But he hit a particularly creepy low when he decided to distort a lame joke lamely delivered by Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts.

Mr. Kerry warned college students that the punishment for not learning your lessons was to “get stuck in Iraq.”

In context, it was obviously an attempt to disparage Mr. Bush’s intelligence.
That’s impolitic and impolite, but it’s not as bad as Mr. Bush’s response.
Knowing full well what Mr. Kerry meant, the president and his team cried out that the senator was disparaging the troops.

It was a depressing replay of the way the Bush campaign Swift-boated Americans in 2004 into believing that Mr. Kerry, who went to war, was a coward and Mr. Bush, who stayed home, was a hero

(if you watch the uncut video, there is a definite BREAK between the Bush Jokes and the education comment.)