Does the bear ?

Friday, September 29, 2006
Public Policy Crisis: Bears Go in the Woods » Outside The Beltway | OTB: "We needed a major study to figure out that wild animals poop outside? And it’s page 1 news?"


Skookumchuk said...

We could always bring back market hunting, like in the 19th century - an activity for which pump shotguns were supposedly invented.

I wonder. Say you stuck a shotgun in your golf bag right there in that empty slot next to your pitching wedge and the course were made available to you in the early morning before it opened to the public. If you bagged a goose somewhere on the course, could you get a reduction in green fees, like on days when they've aerated the grass?

I think Cabela's or somebody sells blaze orange polo shirts, which could become a safety requirement for golfers in such circumstances. A small price to pay.

Knucklehead said...

I wonder if the gummint would give me a few million to let them in on another bit of "scientific knowledge"?

Not likely, so I guess I'll just do my citizenly duty and cough it up free of charge.

Sometimes those wild animals who poop in the woods also die in the woods. And sometimes they even die such that the carcass is right there in a stream or river or lake. If they think the feces does untoward things to water quality just wait'll they find out what rotting carcass does to ground water and streams.

(Should we tell 'em 'bout the fishies or let 'em hire some PhD to figure it out for 'em?)

I wonder which senator's niece or nephew ran this wonderful little expedition to increase the world's knowledge?

Knucklehead said...


Once upon a time I was in a cluster of coworkers and we happened to be looking out a window and "admiring" a large gaggle of those non-migrating Canada geese. Just then a car drove up and stopped and an elderly fellow who appeared to be of Asian ethnicity jumped out. He grabbed a goose, wrung it's neck, tossed it in the car, and drove away.

A young lady in the cluster tried to spot the license plate number and wanted to call the police. She wasn't wearing her spectacles and when she received no assistance she dropped the idea. But she definitely was appaled at the horrid loss of wild life.

We put out the word to avoid the local chinese food joints for a while. To be honest, I'm pretty sure I know which one the goose went to.

Knucklehead said...

I think she was appalled too! (proofreading is for woosies)

Skookumchuk said...


Except if you've had one too many bourbon and branch waters. Then it's for woozies.

I do think my golf course goose cleanup project is something I should bring up next time I'm down at the clubhouse.

Knucklehead said...

I ain't drinkin' no water from no branches. You KNOW what the birds do up there, dontcha? Not to mention the bugs!

Skookumchuk said...


I remember years ago walking through Chinatown in San Francisco and seeing roasted goose and duck carcasses hung upside down in the streetfront window. You could pick out the one you wanted. And if I remember correctly, fish in the aquarium, too. I wonder if they still do any of that, or if these displays have long since been banished.

They love the end product; they just don't want to be involved in the acquisition phase of the endeavor.

Skookumchuk said...


If you gulp down one of those anti-giardia pills when you take that first swallow, you'll be fine. If you make it something like Woodford's Reserve, you'll be even finer.

chuck said... activity for which pump shotguns were supposedly invented,

If butchering road kill was legal in Utah we wouldn'd even need the shotgun. Although chasing down geese in a automobile could get pretty interesting.

Speaking of geese, they get pretty ornery when nesting. I recall my brother and I laughing like crazy when a goose chased my then girlfriend out of the shed, ran up her back knocking her down, then beat her with its wings. Didn't do much for the relationship but the memory remains vivid.

Skookumchuk said...


They really are everywhere on golf courses throughout western Washington. Goose poop everywhere. When ever I see a herd walking around on a course, I imagine a distant herd of dinosaurs. And they certainly can be ornery. I know a few people who've been chased, not when the geese were nesting either, but just seemingly 'cause they don't like ya.

On the other hand, maybe that particular goose was trying to tell you something...

terrye said...

I work with a woman who used to be in the Air Force and she was stationed in Turkey. She said the sight of dead birds crawling with flies and strung up in open markets took a bit of getting used to. She is not much for exotic food, she claims she knows where too much of it came from.

Seneca the Younger said...

You can still get the whole duck or goose, head, feet and all, in real Chinese groceries. You have to have the head and feet to prove it really is a duck.

One just opened about a mile from me. Yum.