He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

I read the morning's news over my first cup of coffeee. Twenty arrested in Britain over a plot to blow up multiple airplanes. Chaos in the airports, with mothers drinking baby's milk to test against liquid explosives.

It doesn't take many mouse clicks to get to a Reuters piece that, after discussing the plot, works in, "Britain has been criticized by Islamist militants for its military campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan. British Prime Minister Tony Blair has also come under fire at home and abroad for following the U.S. lead and refusing to call for an immediate ceasefire in the conflict between Israel and Lebanese Hizbollah guerrillas."

Yes, root causes and all.

A few more clicks lead me to this post on the Blog Euphoria. In it, the author cynically wonders, "Yesterday: Major terrorism policy announcement by Home Secretary John Reid[.] Today: A 'plot to blow up planes' is apparently foiled, and Heathrow airport shut down. And my first reaction? Utter disbelief and a sigh of resignation. They've simply cried wolf too many times before - until I see the smoke I won't believe them, and even then I'll have my suspicions. Remember the tanks at Heathrow just before the Iraq war?"

I think of the gas station scene from the movie The Jerk. Steve Martin plays Navin, an enthisiatic innocent who has been randomly selected as prey by a killer. The killer, on a hill above the gas station, takes aim with a sniper rifle...

Madman: Dead centre - say you're prayers, half breed!
(cans begin to pop on the display Navin is standing next to)
Navin: Hey Harry, look at this! What's the matter with these cans?
Madman: Die milk face!
(more cans pop)
Navin: These cans are defective - they're springing leaks! Come over here and look at this!
Harry: Listen, you better run for cover or you're going to spring a leak!
Navin: Huh?
Harry: We don't have defective cans, we have a defective person out there!
Navin: He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!
Madman: Die gas pumper!
(the glass on a pump breaks)
Navin: Get away from those cans!
(Navin runs inside the station)
Navin: There's cans in there too!
(the gas station window breaks)
Navin: More cans!
Madman: Die you bastard!
Harry: He doesn't want to put holes in the cans, he want to put holes in you!
Navin: What?

Aside from the airline plot, rockets full off ballbearings drop in northern Israel, car bombs detonate in the markets of Baghdad and the road sides of Afghanistan. There will be jihadi violence in Nigeria, Kashmire, Thailand, Indonesia, Central Asia and elsewhere. In Europe, women are being intimidated into wearing headscarfs, while mobs chant, "We are all Hezb'Allah." Worldwide, there will be stabbings and shootings and arsons.

All of that, and all of it happening in one day -- just like the day before, and like the day before that. Day after day. These acts of violence will be done, and the perpetrators will make this clear, in the name of Allah.

Yet, like Navin mystified over the cans exploding around him, there will be many in the West puzzled by it all. Each act will be disconnected from the others, and each will be given its own excuse -- Afghanistan, Iraq, Lebanon, Colonialism, Fascist scheming by the Democracies.

"He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!"
"He doesn't want to put holes in the cans, he want to put holes in you!"

God help us all.


Charles Henry said...

I wonder if they were planning their attack for tomorrow, the 11th?
August 11... 8/11
7/11, 9/11.. 8/11

Knucklehead said...

Geeze, Ambi, don't take it so personal. It isn't you, or me, or anyone in particular they want to put holes in. They're after all the cans, all the infidels, everywhere, every day. It ain't personal!

Just hunker down in the crowd and it will be years, maybe generations, before they get to you or yours. And if we all just stopped using oil fercryinoutloud, it would take them even longer. Peace out, dude.

ambisinistral said...

I swear to God, the first link from Pajamas Media I followed this morning was the Euphoria blog one. I was absolutely gobsmacked when I read his initial suspicions that the whole thing was staged to add zing to a speech (to his credit he did back off that position quickly).

The image of Steve Martin running around unable to figure out why the cans kept getting shot kind of sums it all up for me. His character starts with an assumption and just can't shake it, no matter how absurd it becomes.

Daily gore with "Allahu Akbar" as the sound track. At some point aren't there enough dots on the page that they form a pointillist painting and don't need connecting any more?

Knucklehead said...


I didn't learn of the London thing until rather late in the morning. I very quickly came upon several examples of loons blathering the "wag the dog" theories about how this was just yet another example of BS perpetrated by the fascists, Bush and/or Blair, to take away civil liberties and/or prop up the Republicans in the upcoming election.

Fascinating, isn't it.

Pastorius said...

That's classic, Ambi.

vnjagvet said...


Great post. It expresses so well the frustration I have been feeling over the past six months.

There is no secret about who is doing the killing or why they are doing it. The killers readily identify themselves annouce their reasons.

Willful ignorance will not change anything. Blaming this stuff on process or policy is caused by fear. It is easier to blame it on political enemies. They won't hurt you.

truepeers said...

Brilliant! I've just been watching BBC news commentary. I'm seriously beginning to wonder whether Britain will survive or whether it has fallen too deep into the Gnostic fantasy world where peace is war and war peace. Those cans were full of Pepsraeli, eh?

terrye said...

That is a great post.

Peter UK said...

The attacks on the West have be compartmentalised for several reasons.

One is for the obvious politically correct ideology,if these events are disconnected,then no single perpetrator can be identified,it would never do for the oppressed to be perceived as the oppressor.
This suits the ideology of the left,but what of governments? Well,this suits government also,for the above reasons,but more so for practical reasons,if government were to admit the identity of decades of terror attacks,something would have to be done.The electorate would demand prevention and retribution,questions would be asked as to why those who wish us harm could generously taken into our midst.
The political elite knows what it has wrought,it will never take the blame,there will be calls for moderation,the necessity of avoiding a backlash,more advisory panels from the disaffected minorities set up.
That is the reason the dots cannot be joined up,the political elites of the West form some of them,they will never admit they were wrong.

truepeers said...


Which is why we need to start working full speed on putting a new generation into power. Whatever each of us can...

Peter UK said...

I'd rather put and older generation back into power.

Iranian Revolutionary Guards the spin will be Iranian tourists killed in Israeli strike.

Peter UK said...

The reason they become terrorists

David Thomson said...

I forgot about “The Jerk.” It is definitely appropriate to refer to this film when describing the citizens of the West who wish to delude themselves concerning Islamic nihilism. I just purchased an inexpensive VHS copy of this gem via Amazon.com. Thanks for the recommendation.

Syl said...

Ambi, BRAVO!!

gumshoe1 said...

great post,ambi.

can't connect dots = Darwin Award

gumshoe1 said...

won't connect dots = Darwin Award

connects wrong dots = Darwin Award

"what are dots?" = Darwin Award

Peter UK said...

"I forgot about “The Jerk.” It is definitely appropriate to refer to this film when describing the citizens of the West who wish to delude themselves concerning Islamic nihilism"

The citizens of the West are not deluding themselve,perhaps the liberal ruling class is,but the majority are not.
Much of the truth is being suppressed by the same mechanisms that were used to stifle dissent concerning mass immigration.The same olitical correctness is blinding the liberal left,but if you talk to ordinary people you will hear a very different story.
We know we have aproblem,we also know that the political elite does not have the will to do anything about it,nor the ability to change from the blinkered political correctness they are mired in.Only when there are significant changes in the voting patterns will our politicians start feeling the cold wind of reality.