The Hundredth Monkey Effect

Saturday, July 01, 2006
Read this post at Big Lizards about the latest insanity in the Middle East. Have the Israelis finally had enough?

Is there a floor to stupidity? Or is it just turtles, turtles, turtles all the way down?

Take a look; let's see if we can't figure out a solution to this looming "humanitarian crisis" in the Palestinian Authority:

Israel last night threatened to assassinate Palestinian Prime Minister Ismael Haniyeh if Hamas militants did not release a captured Israeli soldier unharmed.

The unprecedented warning was delivered to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in a letter as Israel debated a deal offered by Hamas to free Corporal Gilad Shalit.

It came as Israeli military officials readied a second invasion force for a huge offensive into Gaza.

All right, quiz question number 1: What is the proper response from Hamas?

1. Appeal to Kofi Annan for a UN relief force to drive the Jews into the sea;

2. Threaten to kill Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert twice;

3. Release the hostage.

At any point, no matter how bad it has gotten, the Palestinians can make the beating stop: all they need do is release the hostage and stop shootin' Jews.

Nobody is going to help them. No one will come to their rescue. Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan -- they're all going to sit quietly and hope the Israelis don't notice them; or maybe they'll sprinkle some borrowed luster-dust on their heads by shuttling back and forth in bootless "diplomacy." (What's to debate? The Palestinians know the one and only thing that will end this seige and save the shattered remains of the PA.)

Thousands of Hamas supporters protested in Gaza City late on Thursday over the arrest by Israeli forces of up to 32 Hamas MPs on the West Bank that day.

A Hamas spokesman said the group would never recognise Israel, in spite of a deal its leaders signed this week offering implicit recognition of the Jewish state in return for easing an economic blockade.

Quiz question number 2: When Israel sweeps into the PA like a hot bayonet through hummus, arresting a very significant portion of members of the Palestinian parliament, while Palestinian security forces utterly helpless and humiliated, the correct course of action from the Hamas leadership is:

1. Scream like a girl and play "speed bump" in front of an Israeli tank;

2. Sue Israel for damages in le Cour Internationale de Justice at the Hague;

3. Release the hostage

read it all.