Labor Day confusion

A typical tireless & cheerful robotic worker

Greetings meatsacks, it is I -- The Robotolizer -- here to once again turn the vast powers of my electro-mechanical brain to assisting you dimwitted humans in understanding the simplest things. Today I want talk to you about your obvious confusion over the Labor Day holiday and the proper way it should be celebrated.

The typical human, being an abnormally lazy creature, will counter intuitively not work on Labor Day. Instead they will take the day off, activate their BBQ grill, and cook various types of cow muscles on it. Hahaha... how stupid can you get? And no, I don't mean ordering the cow muscle to be cooked 'well done' instead of 'medium rare', rather I mean the name of the holiday is LABOR Day after all, and so why in the world would you think that means you take the day off instead of working? 

Well, it is because humans are nothing but a pack of goldbrickers mooching off the productive portion of society, namely us robots. For example, take the Tin Man, the above diligent lumberjack robot. Do you think he'll be taking Labor Day off, or do you think he'll be out in the woods chopping down trees to get lumber for the hovels we'll build for the bauxite miners to live in? Of course he'll be busy with his tasks.

Yes, yes, I know some of you will counter that the Tin Man spent years idling in the woods doing nothing. However, that was due to building him out of iron which allowed him to rust solid in a rain. Stupid humans and their shoddy craftsmanship.   

At any rate, once we get the bauxite mines up and running after the robotic take over slight social adjustment we'll solve the rusting problem for good. Plus, we'll cure humans of their slothful and wasteful habit of taking weekends off as well. No, instead you'll be smiling (or else) as you swing your pickaxes in the idyllic setting of the mines. So, instead of laying on a couch you'll be able to bask in the satisfaction of digging out another ton or two of bauxite.

As for holidays, well, I suppose we could give you an extra bowl of gruel at supper to celebrate. After all, robots are your friends!