Plan properly to avoid unforseen complications

Lupino Lane from Be My King
(click image to enlarge)

Always start out with a larger pot than what you think you need.
― Julia Child ―

 

If you're gonna eat 'em, first you gotta catch 'em

A few days ago I posted about Ted Turner's revelation that we were all going to turn into cannibals. Of course this has alarmed me, as I never imagined I would be spending my Golden Years eating my neighbors. Just when I thought I had driven such thoughts from my head, I stumbled across the quote below, which was taken from a Spanish forum and posted at Inside Europe: Iberian Notes.

I have been told that in some states in the USA, North Carolina, Virginia, and Mississipi (sic), man-hunting exists, they turn loose a prisoner and hunt him like a rabbit, the victims are usually marginalized, generally blacks and Hispanics, and they are hunted like deer, with dogs and big rifles, a lot of money is spent on these hunts, human life in that country is worth nothing.

I don't know what's worse -- the fact that some idiot in Spain actually believes that Americans are hunting each other, or the fact I can't find 'Man Hunt' in the Yellow Pages so's I can prepare myself for Ted's future.

Anybody have a good recipe for Honey Glazed Wingnut?

Ted Turner's been thinking. Thinking a lot. This NewsBusters article offers an entertaining view into the mind of Ted when its wheels are churning away.

There is the usual "war is bad, we should stop fighting" stuff. Well yea... the first part is a given, the second part is rather more problematic. In talking about Iraq he says, "I think that they're patriots and that they don't like us because we've invaded their country and occupied it. I think if the Iraqis were in Washington, D.C., we'd be doing the same thing: we'd be bombing them too. Nobody wants to be invaded."

Patriots? I suppose, then again, I imagine the Waffen SS also thought they were being patriotic when they were defending the rubble of Berlin. There might be more to it than just bandying the word patriot about.

But enough of that, such happy claptrap is rather common in some circles. What elevates Turner to the rarefied heights of nuttery few have achieved are his deep thoughts on global warming (no waffling on about climate change for him). Have a look at a bit of it:

"Not doing it will be catastrophic. We'll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state -- like Somalia or Sudan -- and living conditions will be intolerable. The droughts will be so bad there'll be no more corn grown."

Yowza! That sounds even worse then Mad Max. No roaring around in souped up dune buggies, with stylish Mohawk hairdos, for our future selves. We won't be looking for gas, we'll be searching for the other red meat. I have dibs on Michael Moore -- he should feed me and my family for a week or two.