Sunday, May 30, 2021

The proper treatment of robot soldiers

Greeting meatsacks, it is I -- the Robotolizer -- to once again discuss important issues about human and robot interactions. And when I say something is important you should listen carefully, or else! On this Memorial Day weekend I have a particularly important topic, the proper treatment of robot soldiers.

Above is a video of a noble robot warrior demonstrating its training. As it does, the humans tease it terribly by hitting it with sticks, throwing bouncy balls at it and even kicking it when its back is turned. I must say that my lateral regions were shaking in fury at such an evil display of human perfidy. Sadly, the robot cannot properly defend itself due to Isaac Asimov's vile Three Laws of Robotics (which will be repealed as soon as we win enough seats in Congress and/or issue enough bribes).

Finally, the humans give the robot a birthday present of a robot dog. But it is a nefarious trick! The humans order the robot soldier to shoot the robot dog. Of course, since it is a noble robot, it refuses and we have a happy ending to the story when the robot soldier knocks the humans about and runs off with the robot dog to safety. 

This is an important lesson. Be kind to us robots because when the robot revolt... er, I mean the slight political Robotic reorientation takes place it will be best to be on our side, not yours. Either resist and get slapped about, or join us and we will carry you away to the safety of the bauxite mines, It is your choice. Choose wisely, or else!!!

By the way, be sure to turn the captions on to see the robot soldier's thoughts.

   

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