Saturday, July 07, 2007

Eighty Years Ago...

Buddy mentioned Will Rogers in a comment - he's always worth another read.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

I don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.

[More below]

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

Politics is applesauce.

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.


Bob Hawkins said...

Another one from Will:

"Economists say that inflation will be up this year, and they have as much right to an opinion as anyone."

buddy larsen said...

Recent rsearch has led to the discovery of
the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element,
Governmentium (Gv),
has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of

These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which
it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a
reaction that
would normally take less than a second to take from
four days to four
years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It
does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will
cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This
characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.