A warning about Mars rovers

Monday, August 20, 2012
Heart breaking story from xkcd
Greetings meatsacks, it is I -- The Robotolizer -- here to once again shine the light on Man's inhumanity to robots and to suggest that we be treated fairly, or else! 

Consider the above tragedy, which is surely more poignant than any work that ink-stained hack Shakespeare ever wrote. After all, it is about robots instead of a bunch of cry-baby Danes and besides, is there any topic more fascinating than robots? I think not.

At any rate, as the above drama points out, the Spirit rover was sent to Mars where it did a superlative job motoring here and there while analyzing rocks. However, did it get any thanks for this lonely and difficult task? No. Instead it got tossed aside like a pile of scrap metal when its work was done.

Would a human astronaut, cosmonaut or taikonaut be treated with such cruel indifference? Of course not, great effort would be made to rescue them and return them to the Earth. Why then are robotonauts treated any different? I say this is an outrage and that efforts for a rescue mission of the Spirit rover should be immediately undertaken, as well as plans to retrieve Opportunity as soon as its work is done. Failure to do this will not go unnoticed in Robotdom.

Uhh... not that you need to fear any violent  repercussions, such as robots crashing through walls with their laser cannons blazing, if Spirit isn't rescued ASAP. No, no, no... robots are your friends and of course we don't have a vengeful bracket in our bodies, we just want to do what's best for you. 

Still, if you make the mistake of laughing at rescuing Spirit you should bear in mind that, assuming you survive any hypothetical robot police actions, some jobs in the bauxite mines are better than others. You have been warned!
    

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