Monday, December 12, 2005


Someone had to have some.

Superbowl Sunday. All other world controversies are temporarily knocked off stage by Janet Jackson's nipple. So great is the nipple's disruptive field, scientists wonder if it might have power to slow the spin of hurricanes or stop the mutation of deadly viruses.
An oppressive colonizer is forced to withdraw from occupied Arab land. This is initially met with dancing in the streets of Cairo, Paris, and Turtle Bay. Then everyone realizes it is Syria pulling out of Lebanon. You must understand that the Cedar Revolution, after years of Syrian domination, has nothing to do with the American presence in Iraq, you jingoist. It's just one of those international coincidences like the moon being where it was when Apollo 11 flew past. A few months later, Israel voluntarily withdraws from Gaza, earning approximately 17 seconds of goodwill from the international community. Personal best!

The Iraqi constitution, a Middle East milestone, is approved. But hey! Over there! It's Britney and her new baby! Everybody grab your cameras and run after her! Dang: false alarm. Anyway, what was that about Iraq? Right: They chose their own rules of governance. Yet statistics show voter participation is down significantly from 99.99 percent in Saddam's day, to 60 percent.

That is by no means all.


flenser said...

My favorite line;

"It’s difficult to believe you live in the best of times when Hollywood recreates The Dukes of Hazzard and the producers are not stoned in the public square on general principle."

buddy larsen said...

MarkG8 at the Last Supper:

"Can you say "dullsville"? And the food--I've eaten better as a fire hydrant at the Westminster Dog Show. Resurrection? Ask the crickets that these so-called fishermen so enjoy spearing through the guts on their fishooks--see how many of THEM believe the shpiel. No, really, you'd think this famous carpenter could've at LEAST built me a chair I could sit in without the 'roids acting up, but noooo! I don't know, this whole righht wing farce you might buy it but not yours truly, bread and wine? Hah, gimme a plywood and sauerkraut ANY day. This holy crap sucked SUCH a bag, as IF!"

ex-democrat said...

"So Israel expected more applause for leaving Gaza than..."

can you actually read? where does it say that "Israel expected" anything? it's a comment on what israel got, not what it expected.
no, seriously, can you not read?? or do you simply choose not to bother? if so, are you oblivious to the emptiness of your rhetoric? are you impervious to embarassment? or are you just contemptuous of the intelligence of others?
by the way, i don't need you to 'answer' any of these questions. i already know the answer better than you do.

Charlie Martin said...

Who told Kid Rock he could sing anyway and why was that American flag shirt he was wearing considered patriotic but when 30 years ago Abbie Hoffman wore one it was considered a crime.

Damned if I know.

I got up to pee before Janet Jackson came on.

Hell, I was watching and I didn't notice it.

ex-democrat said...

"My guess is ... I've heard he did it because ..."

your discourse is beneath that of a gossiping fishwife passing time between episodes of "oprah" and "as the world turns."

It is not necessary to have "all the answers" to know your answers. Nor to have any correct answers, come to that.

buddy larsen said...

ex, ya gotta admit, the guy's an entertaining writer.

Mark-the-Snark, how about, "Sharon pulled out so he could fight AQ/Hamas/Hezbollah more efficiently"?

ex-democrat said...

as entertaining as a 3-day old cow pie, but somewhat less intelligent. it seems to have figured out that it can't comprehend what others are saying but hasn't yet learned to shut up while being spoken to. fortunately, the only skill required for harassing college kids by email is an utter lack of decency.

buddy larsen said...

Y'all better be careful--he's upgrading his computer.

buddy larsen said...

Jeez, Mark--do you have a dedicated research department? How inconsequential does something have to be, to escape your eagle eye?

Go to Gaza City, and holler "Screw Al Qaeda!"--let's see if the two million hits on googoo are just 'make-ups".

"...moving his troops away from the enemy seems counter productive to continued warfare."

Oh, come on--really--let's pretend that our little groupings of words refer to situations that exist.

Sharon is giving PA what it wanted, and now PA will have to play nice, or--bereft of "hostaged" settlers, fight Israel as a hostile state. And Sharon can then fight back by those rules.

Why are you so upset by the "freeing" of Gaza? Lose an issue, did you?

buddy larsen said...

Peter, you'll get the "Matt Taaibi Blow-off" to that question: "Huh? Did you say something?"

buddy larsen said...

Trees don't ever smell bad, Mark, no matter how rotten. Haven't you ever been around a tree?

I don't know squat about Sharon's third party. I like sharon, tho--he fights for sanity and civilization.

What's your play, here?

buddy larsen said...

Not getting christmas presents from Hamas, are you?

buddy larsen said...

A little sugar in the water will extend freshness a week or three--but 8 is a long time. You shoulda told the judge about the tree, he might've let you furlough a few hours to go dispose of it.